Thursday, April 14, 2011

failure.... or?

Okay, I guess it's time for me to learn from failure.   Yesterday, I thought I was prepared to share (with an interpreter) at a women's meeting, but it seemed to me like it fell flat.   True, some of the ladies kindly came up afterward,  and wanted to shake my hand, and some asked me to pray for them...but it seemed it all was without the power of Christ, or the preparation I really should have had.  May the Lord forgive, and yet water the little bit of seed - the mixed up giving of my testimony, and especially the few verses I shared.  I truly feel it was in weakness and trembling and nervousness.

But how does this fit into "Unexpected Journey in 2011"?  I guess I wouldn't be here in Egypt if it wasn't that I was "pushed into it" by thinking that perhaps I wouldn't be able to enjoy making such a trip later IF this cancer continued to expand in my bones.   Was this a failure in my belief in His touch?  However, I believed God was at work in my body...there is such a wonderful array of ideas there.  But God is not the author of confusion, so I'm resting again in Romans 8:28 concerning God making all things work together for good, because I DO love Him....and I am enjoying being here!   He has already begun to make the "hot spots" in my PET scan disappear or get smaller in the last three months....Thank you JESUS!

He also is sooooooo wonderful to give us the desires of our hearts. "Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart" (from Psalm 37)   He is granting two of those desires this month...being here in Egypt, and also getting to be in the Holy Land during Passover and Resurrection days. This is really an unexpected journey in my "Unexpected Journey in 2011"!

I don't know when the time for me is done, as far as opportunities to live for Jesus here on earth is.  If for some reason, He decides my life has fulfilled the "three score and ten years", and I get to experience the joys of Heaven, then it will REALLY be an unexpected journey in 2011!  And the best of all!

1 comment:

  1. My dear sis, Don't forget to get the proper REST, EXERCISE, and DIET while you are on this trip!

    Also, you brought to my memory a time I was asked to speak. From the looks on people's faces, etc., I felt like I had been a total failure and thought I had misunderstood what God wanted me to talk about. However, later ONE person came up to me and said that she was so thankful for what I said, that God really ministered to her that day. SO, you never know why or whose heart God may be touching. And even if He didn't use you as you wanted to be used, you were obedient and tried.