Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Thanksgiving in the midst of pain....

Okay, I find it hard to believe that it's 2 months since my adult son went to be with our Lord.  He had been diagnosed with glioblastoma brain cancer about 9 months previous to this...went through 3 surgeries and lots of chemo and radiation as well as a trial procedure trying to make his body fight the cancer.  I've been so thankful for the way he and his wife took on this challenge of trusting God and even to be joyful in the midst of it.  And I'm so proud of my two young grandsons, too!

Last night, I saw a picture of him in the church he attended for the last time less than 3 months ago.  As I saw his face with such a precious, calm demeanor, almost heavenly glow, as he was praying for families who were dedicating their children to the Lord, my heart almost burst...burst with sadness, and yet with gladness.  How can both be there???  Tears welled up, and as I sobbed out to the Lord, I said, "Thank you, Lord, for giving such a wonderful son for the short 43 years he was here on earth.  I don't know WHY he needed to leave us, but I thank You for the privilege of having him be my son."             
Another thing for which I am so grateful is for the woman that God brought into his life to be his wife, and who is the mother to my grandsons.  I am going to copy what she wrote today as her status on her Facebook page...
"Today makes 2 calendar months since my soulmate, my love, my best friend has gone to be with our Lord. Instead of being a Debbie downer like I do so well I've decided to worship Jesus. I'm reading a book from a dear friend called The Unquenchable Worshipper by Matt Redman and it is very encouraging. Through this book the Lord is teaching me many things. One of which is this; situations change for better and for worse, but God's worth never changes. Today I choose to fill my heart with contentment and praise. Don't get me wrong...I cry daily while my broken heart literally physically aches but then daily I am choosing to praise Him. How can I not with these 2 amazing boys He has given me? I read about a young lady who was blind. When asked if she was bitter and angry about not being able to see the blue sky or the green grass her response was "Well the good thing about being blind is that the very first face I will ever see will be the face of Jesus." I pray that I have her heart of contentment and praise. So today through my heart ache I will praise Jesus and be content with where He has placed me and my boys. Although it is not easy I know that Jesus will be holding us up as He has been. ‪#‎ChooseJoyEvenThroughTheTears‬ ‪#‎CancerSucksButGodIsStillGood‬ ‪#‎Happy2MonthsInHeavenMyLove‬ ‪#‎MissYouMoreThanMyNextBreath‬"   

I, too, am encouraged by her post, to praise God in the midst of such a loss to us down here.

1 comment:

  1. I am very sorry to hear about your son's death. Sometimes it's hard to understand what the Lord has in mind, but I know He loves and wants the best for us. I think your daughter-in-law has the right idea. It won't be easy, but I know both of you will find peace when you need it most.