Healed or not???

When I have good days like today, it's easier to think..."hey, I'm going to be alright....maybe even healed".   Then someone will say, "Do you go by feelings, or by faith?"  (Some days I'm rather emotional and surely not full of faith, particularly not for healing!)  That's where I'm at now.  I do have faith that God can just touch me and heal me now before that perfect healing that I know for sure is coming when I stand in His presence.   Then there's that "but" as I see people that God is using in such a wonderful way who have not been healed--Dave Roever for example (http://daveroever.org/) ,   as well as Joni Erikson Tada.(http://www.joniandfriends.org/).     How marvelously God has and is using  them!   Also, I've seen people who have had much greater faith than I, who have prayed for healing in this life, but didn't receive it...but God took them to Heaven, and they are healed eternally!

Now today, I've listened on my computer to TBN's Praise the Lord (an archive of Feb. 24)
http://www.tbn.org/video_portal/.   I put it on as I wanted to listen to Hussein Steve Mashni again, who says "I don't say, I was a Muslim and I became a Christian.   I say, I was dead and I came to life..I wasn't dead because  I was a Muslim...I was dead because I didn't have Jesus in my life...   "  He also had some interesting things about Egypt and Isaiah 19 that I wanted to hear again.

Well, anyway,  waiting to get to this man's testimony I listened to another man who was from Missouri who preached to 30 or 40 in his little church, but when he went to third world countries, he preached to 30 and 40,000 people and saw soooooooooooo many "signs and wonders".  He wondered why God wasn't doing it here in the USA.  God told him to start preaching and praying for it here in the US.   It encourages me to pray and trust the Lord for healing....wouldn't that be a "sign and wonder" to the people in Diamond City????

I have gone the James 5 route of asking to be anointed with oil (now I'll copy from www.blueletterbible.org which is about my favorite Bible study site....)

	Jam 5:13	Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing psalms.
	Jam 5:14	Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord.
	Jam 5:15	And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.
	Jam 5:16	Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.

So I've done that.... and

• I am taking JuicePlus capsules morning and evening
• I am taking Tamoxifen morning and evening (as it stops or slows the growth of this kind of cancer),
• I am exercising some, and get fresh air in a little walk each day with Earl,
• I've been trying to cut out most white sugar, and eating in a pretty healthy way, I think

and now I'm pondering if I'm missing something....  Any suggestions?

I am so thankful that I am in God's hands, since I do have Jesus Christ as my Savior and my Lord, and I can leave the choice to Him.   He knows so much better than I what will be best, not just for me, but those whom my life touches.  Thanks for listening, and for praying :)
As I've read this over, I realized it's me, me, me!   Forgive me, Lord!   I want Thee, Thee, Thee!!!!

Parallels

Is this cancer like Haman's plan to destroy the Jews?   Oh, I see so many parallels!  Haman is like a picture of Satan trying to destroy God's people.  But you don't touch God's people without it backfiring!

God is my King.  Now in this parallel, "Esther spoke yet again to the king, and fell down at his feet and besought him with tears to avert the evil plot of Haman the Agagite and his scheme that he had devised against the Jews." ( Esther 8:3, Amp.)

And my Father King, in JESUS' Name,  I do fall down at Your feet, and with tears (see my last blog), ask, beseech  You, (the Hebrew word "chanan" translated "besought", actually has more of the meaning to ask for mercy and favor rather than to beg),  to avert this evil plot of cancer against me. 


"Then the king held out his golden scepter.  So Esther arose and stood before the king." (vs 4)  The Lord is favorable and wanting to give me His provision for my need.  I will arise and stand before my King!

"And she said, 'If it pleases the king, and if I have found favor in his sight, and the thing seems right before the king and I am pleasing in his eyes, let it be written to reverse the letters devised by Haman son of Hammedatha, the Agagite, which he wrote to destroy the Jews who are in all the king's provinces."  (vs. 5)  Wow!!! Can you see the progression of thought with me? 

• "if it pleases the king" (not my will, but Yours be done!)
• "if I have found favor in his sight" (because I am now in Christ, I HAVE found favor! Also I like what Job said in chapter 10 verses 11, 12   Thou hast clothed me with skin and flesh, and hast fenced me with bones and sinews.  Thou hast granted me life and favour, and thy visitation hath preserved my spirit. )
• "and the thing seems right before the king"  (if it seems right to Him-- It's not mine to decide.)
  
• "and I am pleasing in his eyes" (from Song of Sol. 2:16 this thought about  "I am my Beloved's and He is mine...His banner over me is love"   And also as far as I know, Lord,  I am trying to please You, though I do have to ask forgiveness lots of times where I fail...)

Oh, there is more... look at verse 7 "Then the King Ahasuerus said to Queen Esther and to Mordecai the Jew, 'Behold, I have given Esther the house of Haman, and him they have hanged upon the gallows because he laid his hand upon the Jews'."  Satan was defeated at the cross when Jesus died on Calvary, and then arose three days later...like what Satan was told already in Genesis 3:15, "And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel."  Jesus is the Seed of the woman, and at the cross, his head was bruised.   Satan's power was broken!

But there's more....that'll have to wait.  I've got work to do!

"My child, do not weep"

I need to write something to let those of you who are following know just how things are going with me.  The last few days have been extra ordinarily tagged with adventure!  I need to look at life as an adventure, and rejoice in the new challenges as they come.  If I just told you the drag, you'd want to kick me in the pants, and remind me of the promises of God for such situations.   If you do, I'll appreciate it, too!

       Usually I wake up early because of a cramp in my legs or feet.  After working out the cramp, I argue with myself, saying I need more rest to fight the cancer....but my mind is awake and moving, so why not get up....especially when I think the LORD might be waiting for me to meet with Him!
 
      This morning I did what I often do when I can't sleep in the middle of the night--I go to blueletterbible.com, and pull up a place to read and listen to the Word.  I pulled up Mark chapter 1 in the New King James Version.  Then on the sidebar I clicked on the audio, and lay down on the couch to listen, pray, meditate, and enjoy, as this site will just continue reading right through the whole book and even go on to the next books.  (Sometimes when I listen in the middle of the night, I fall asleep, and wake up to hear the reading and it is many chapters later, or even a book later!)  Last year I began memorizing Mark, but  I just got through the end of the second chapter.  I need to put time and effort on that again.  But today, I just wanted to think more about Jesus, and let Him speak to me from His Word, and I figured I'd let my body rest, too, by lying on the couch here near the computer!  I'm not sure if that's killing two birds with one stone, or being lazy!

     When my sister called this morning, and asked how I was, she encouraged me to blog about it.  I had told her that my emotions seem to be so near the surface.  I cry at "the drop of a hat"!   Is it the tamoxifin?   Is it depression?  Is it weakness?   Is it lack of faith?  I guess it's not unspiritual to cry, in fact tears are often healing, and also the Lord takes special note of them.  Esther reminded me of the verse about "when I am weak, then am I strong"  (2Cor. 12:10)

     One week ago today, Earl's feet got wet as he went into the bathroom....and found to our dismay that a water line had frozen and ruptured!  That was the beginning of a week of more discoveries of water damage in the frontroom, too.  Praise God for church family who helped, then State Farm insurance was "like a good neighbor", but through it all, there were many unexpected things to be done, and even now decisions to be made in contracting for the new rug, and work on the walls, etc.  My precious husband at 90, is such a help to me, but he does leave a lot of those things for me to decide.    Lord, help me to see this adventure from your point of view!  I have soooooooooooo much to praise the Lord for, and that's what I am going to do.  He is taking such good care of us!

     That is giving you a little background to where I'm at now...I feel weak!  Pray for me to be wise to know what to do.  I wonder if it's not believing God if I do things now that I would hate for people to have to do for me later if I do get incapacitated, (like cleaning out the mess in the small laundry room)....or do I save my strength by relaxing, etc?  Do I go out and visit people who need to be encouraged, or do I rest up and hope the resting is helping my body?

     I am also thrilled when I hear of God working miracles for people who have been in far worse condition than I am.   I have prayed to be healed.   But today, my body is telling me I'm not healed yet!  I am weak and shaky... I thought it was just my emotions being weak, but my body is kind of trembly, too.  Keep me in your prayers as I seek to know His victory, His direction.

     This is getting loooooooooonnnnnnnngggg....but Earl just shared with me a reading out of Daily Moments in His Presence by Frances J. Roberts.  "O My child, do not weep.  I am doing a beautiful work.  Stress and pressure and pain are often the path to victory and understanding.  I am in the midst, and I am a strong deliverer.  You need not be concerned.  Courage is the greatest contribution you can make at this point.  To be strong now will make the path of recovery easier.  Faith is an essential ingredient in every solution...often it is the solution itself. Never underestimate the power of faith.  Hold fast. Trust. Unseen angels assist you.  Doors are opening to let you pass into safety."

Daily Living... well, not really!!!

Daily living...not usually very bright, energy-filled words.   BUT they can be!  (Read what happens at the end of this blog!)

  Let us begin each day with that excited, expectant thrill that children look forward to opening presents.  Today is a GIFT FROM GOD!.  And we're just beginning to open the outside wrapping in the morning.

Like Abraham...
"And Abraham got up early in the morning to the place where he stood before the LORD:" Gen. 19:27

Like Moses...

"And the LORD said unto Moses, Rise up early in the morning, and stand before Pharaoh;" Ex. 8:20

Like Joshua...

"And Joshua rose early in the morning, and the priests took up the ark of the LORD."  Josh. 6:12

Like Job...

"and rose up early in the morning, and offered burnt offerings"  Job 1:8

and MOST of all, like JESUS!

Now in the morning, having risen a        long while before daylight, He went   out and departed to a solitary place;    and there He prayed.  Mark 1:35    From each of these passages there is a sermon in the context!   But since I'm not a preacher, I won't expound on them, and if you have the time, you'd be more blessed by looking it up yourselves anyway ...HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!

THEN........ I wrote this blog this morning about "daily living"...and that each day was like a present to be opened.   Surprise!  My daily living took an unexpected turn when Earl saw water coming out from under the sink in the bathroom....the seeping quickly turned into a run, and just a minute before the City was able with Earl to shut off the water, it had become a fountain!  Thank God, it didn't happen in the night...AND the fountain was short-lived!  Praise God for strength and health for Earl and I to meet this unexpected turn!

Am I like a bird in the snow????

A little junco (snowbird) outside my window...  His telling us snow was coming proved true!

It's a great day to feed birds!  When the snow comes and there's little to eat for the birds, they really flock to where they can get it.  Maybe that's how I am, too.   When I'm not "in need",  z z z z z z zzz. I don't pray like I should, I can go to sleep on my knees.    The One who is waiting to "feed" me and wanting to give me spiritual nourishment, and strength to continue, is still waiting with the abundant supply of what I need..

Snowball, our cat!

But when times are tough,  birds even venture to places that were "dangerous" to them before.   (Do you see the little bird in the homemade 3 liter pop bottle feeder?)
I know I should take more risks in living for Jesus, too.
















And they even get along with those other birds that are not "of their feather"

And even have to learn to "wait my turn"!

And I've always loved the thought that to God we are more valuable than the birds...yes, even the sparrows.
I like this verse from Psalm 84...."Even the sparrow has found a home, And the swallow a nest for herself, Where she may lay her young— Even Your altars, O LORD of hosts, My King and my God."  (Do you feel like singing now?)

From Luke 12:6, 7  "Are not five sparrows sold for two copper coins? And not one of them is forgotten before God ...But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows."

So Lord, I'm glad I don't feel like a sparrow alone.... from Psalm 107:2  " I lie awake, And am like a sparrow alone on the housetop."  With the Lord on my side, and all you friends who read this.......... I am sooooooo blessed!

Out side my window this morning...

and this is outside my window this morning! guess I'll blog about it a little later as I need to get the oatmeal on, but just now, I can say, Praise God, through Jesus Christ, He makes me whiter than snow!   

life...a vapor that fades away

Two new perspectives on life, compared to a normal lifespan have come to mind today.   We were saddened to hear of our good friends' 28 year old son's death.   He had been diagnosed only about 2 months ago, and now he is in eternity.  It was in the lungs and head.  I can't imagine how his Momma and Daddy  feel!

     My first report from the radiologist was that it looked like metastasis in my lungs on my CT scan.   If that had been true, (or if the Lord hadn't touched me?), I could also be sooooo close to eternity.  Why does the Lord keep an older person like me going, yet take a fine young man like that????  The PET scan found "hot spots" in my bones, not in the lungs.  My heart goes out to this young man's family.   I guess I'll really have to wait to ask Jesus Christ Himself that some day, and remember to live each day now as a gift from God.  Lord, help me to do that!

The other perspective?

     Actually, it's the scary scenes in Cairo that make me remember the young, and old, the rich and poor, who are at risk in the Middle East, and actually all over the world.  I think I've been so consumed about myself, my husband, our family, church and even our little community that I've failed to remember, or care for them!

     My dear grandkids in Egypt, so fervent in their prayers, are making me pause and consider.  How am I praying?   Am I so close to the Lord that I can call on Him with adoration, trust, and passion?  No, I know I've become slow, and lethargic lately...

     Pray for me that I WILL LIVE EACH DAY AS A GIFT FROM GOD!   One of my friends on Facebook compared each day to a treasure hunt...and I can't find who wrote it, and how the rest of that thought played out.  I need to have more of that "get up and go with excitement" in my life.  Pray for me...because

"Whereas ye know not what [shall be] on the morrow. For what [is] your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away."  James 4:14